i know my posts are getting kind of irritating.
but i need to say something regarding charlotte's tag

charlotte:
"it's not really just about material wants. coz in order to SURVIVE in this world. as in. properly, not just living each day, you HAVE to get what people want; the results people expect of you. MUST."

well, i think that "as in properly, not just living each day" is a material want in itself.
living each day is the basic. anything more is just being greedy.

and secondly, i think that its not so much about "what people want or the results people expect of you"
because in the end its what you expect of yourself to fulfill what people want.
and you have the choice whether to care about what people expect of you.
so in the end its what you expect of yourself.


ok(: being irritating time is over.
i shall talk about after exams!
i was looking forward to it until it actually came near.
and now im dreading it):
because im an ungrateful little princess(bleah) and i cant seem to treasure what i have
so everytime after holidays i'll be thinking of how i wasted it away.
so i have a lot of pressure on myself to make this holidays meaningful.
until im dreading it.
and i know what after exams i'm still going to be super busy.
but the main reason why im dreading after exams is because of...training...
its not that i dont like training, actually really like it.
but considering the state that i am in now, im going to suffer soo much when training starts.
i am so fat! and unfit. and i havent run for the past MONTH.
i am a total slob! how on earth am i going to survive training? i think it'll kill me.
and the worst thing is that im going overseas for super super long this holiday(because my sister would have just finished o levels) and im going to have to miss super alot of trainings.
which will make things worst becasue i'll deprove again.
and i have no idea what coach will say when she hears of how long im going for.
i feel dead already.

i cant believe i worry about these tiny things so much
but just thinking about it can deprive me of sleep for a night.
i should stop worrying):